Sometimes people feel like getting into kink at all, they have to suddenly have this whole new identity. It’s not just a thing to do, but a whole lifestyle. But this isn’t true! You can get into kink as much or as little as you like. There are so many kinky things that are just about exploring a different mood or fantasy, sometimes even without any accessories needed. Being curious doesn’t have to commit you to anything.
Start With What Interests You
First, think about what appeals to you. Is it certain power dynamics, roleplay, specific materials? As you start thinking these through, you can consider what the simplest way to explore it might be.
Once you’ve figured out some of your strongest desires, you can start to explore yourself, or ask your partner to explore it with you. A great starting point with a partner is finding some of the kinks that you both are interested in.
Safety First
Of course, you should also set up easy outs and stopping points. A good method is a ‘traffic light system’ where you have signals for green, keep going, yellow, pause to check in, and red means stop completely. It’s good to have both a verbal and non-verbal signal.
Start with the easiest version of your shared idea. You don’t need to make the whole evening unfamiliar.
For sensory curiosity, compare the feel of soft fabrics on a hand or forearm, keeping your eyes open and giving feedback. For dressing up, choose one accessory you feel comfortable wearing. For taking the lead, practice asking clearly for an agreed activity while your partner keeps the same freedom to decline.
A Few Useful Starting Points
Your First Experiment
Leave a little time afterwards to talk. What felt comfortable? What was awkward? Would you repeat it? Ask what each person would like and how you’d like to continue in the future.
